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    世上俗物的转变

    一年一年又一年,我都24岁了,好象真的感觉有些大了,好象真的感觉一个人这样下去不成,可那又怎么样呢,呵呵,有点不知所措。不能说大起大落,但几个月的时间里,空间和角色的变化,真的让我有些茫然与麻木,不知道自己为何存在,也不知道自己要去何方。但是变化在思想上,是化学的,至少变化到激烈碰撞的分子。感情,还是感情,可能BOB就这么点出息了。且不说这几年所做的错事,辜负的人,这一切以化成孽报,反噬与我;就说这所谓成熟的想法。以前的我,从来就没考虑过世上俗物---钱的问题,我有固定的工作,能养着自己,凑合的活着,按自己的概念能快乐的活着,深信她也能这样,不会顾及这个世上俗物的因素,所以我活着还算快乐,也可以说那时侯的感情都很完美吧,没有比较,没有压力,工作的环境也是非常安逸。可是,自从今年就变了,或者说离开饭店后,或是感情没有后,思想,角色真的全变了,我也会焦急不安,也会不知所措,在这个钢铁堆积起来的城市中,我感到了自己的渺小,以前的环境中,我可能是一个强者,是一个什么方面都很富足的人,新的环境,我不可否认,给我的压力太大了,接触的东西有多了很多,我犹如井底的青蛙一样,永远到不了外面,跟上这个时代的要求,周围的人和事影响了我,我怎么才算是快乐,我的满足又在哪里,我怎么能看着心爱的人跟我这么过下去,不甘心,真的不甘心,一个前两辈人都是工人的孩子, 一个自己又没上进心,魄力,随遇而安的人,一个有时候还用自行车当交通工具的人,还是个男人,又还能做什么呢,不想再说什么,让自己沉淀吧。

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